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Mirror Mirror on the Wall…….

snow_whiteWe all read Snow White as children and we know that in the book, her ugly stepmother asks the mirror the question, “Who is the fairest one of all?”

Was it insecurity that made her ask that question? Was it because she couldn’t believe what she saw, that she needed an outside opinion to feel validated?

Have you ever stopped to think about how many of us have to ask what others see in our mirror?

Several years ago, I was the facilitator at a retreat for a group of professional women. They were all at the top of their field and feeling very secure in their career choices.

In one exercise, I gave them a mirror and asked each one to tell me what they saw. They all said that they saw a face, with a variety of types of eyes, noses, mouths and skin tones – they described in detail their features, not one of them saw anything else.

I asked them to pass the mirror to a colleague and to ask what that colleague saw when she looked in their mirror. They were amazed at what was said.

No one said anything about the face in the mirror. They all began to describe the person behind the face. They used words like open, sharing, caring, warm, friendly, dependable, strong, witty – all those words came from just looking in the mirror of someone else! Each of the women wrote down what her colleague saw in her mirror and then they were asked to expand on those words in another exercise.

It was amazing how easy it was, once they had the received outside validation. They not only liked what they heard, they were able to increase their self esteem by adding examples to the words given to them.

Why can’t we see what others see? Why can’t we recognize that our magnificence – that “fairest one of all” is not just in how we look, it is in how we act. And it is what others see, time and again.

I believe that each of us needs someone else to look in our mirror and to reflect what is seen to others. We all need at least one minute of fame where we can shine brighter than our peers. I encourage everyone to pass the mirror to a friend and ask them what they see – it’s truly gratifying to know that we can all be stars.

The women went home from the retreat, with a new perspective and their mirror! Each starring in their own movie, their own one minute of fame – where they were the “fairest of all! “

Donna Messer can look in your mirror and help you gain a new perspective. She is a speaker, author, coach and mentor. If you want your “one minute of fame – where you can be the fairest of them all” call Donna. Go to or call 905-337-9578.

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